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The Other Side of the Therapist’s Couch

Fear is the clever liar underneath everything.

Understand Control's Limits.

Become Comfortable being Uncomfortable in order to Change.

Observe your Thoughts as Ideas, not Commands.

Practical insights on resilience, change, and finding peace from a psychotherapist

with 35+ years on one side of the couch—and several years on the other.

Our Experience Ensures Your Health

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Fear Exists Deeply Buried Under Many of our Decisions

And it's a very Clever, Seductive, Personal and Convincing Liar.

Fear rarely introduces itself honestly.

It disguises itself as procrastination, perfectionism, anger, certainty, avoidance, and the need to control outcomes.

The challenge isn’t eliminating fear.

It's learning how to manage it before it begins making decisions for us.

However, there is a ladder that is sturdily built to climb out of this well of fear.

Learn how to reach up and grab onto it.

What Do We Control Really?

Less than we might wish.
More than we can imagine.

One way to think about control is to imagine a hula hoop.

Inside the hula hoop are the things I can actually control: my choices, my words, my actions, my attitude, and what I do next.

Outside the hula hoop are the things I cannot control: other people, outcomes, timing, the past, and most of the future.

We spend enormous energy trying to control what is outside the hula hoop.

Learning the difference changes everything.

Uncomfortability.

Becoming Comfortable Feeling Uncomfortable. A Habit We Adopt.

All the changes we adopt in order to grow into our very best selves require us to be uncomfortable; sometimes just a little, but sometimes quite a lot.

We may not remember this feeling but we did it in order to learn how to embrace the habits of brushing our teeth, riding a bike, and the work necessary towards achieving every goal in life we wanted.

So the good news is we already know how to sit with uncomfortability. We just need to remember it is not a stranger or stop it from moving forward when we wish to.